TOTALLY CONFUSED!!!!!!!

my original blog, i can no longer log into, i wonder if is because i have changed email addresses.....

my daughter's father has been out of her life for 5 years as of tomorrow. last week this Bama called---he got the number from his mother-----he seems genuinely interested in getting to know his now 6 year old daughter---other than our incident, which had something to do with him disappearing, we had a pretty good relationship. He was, at that time, a great dad!!!

Now he is back and wants to be involved full time---My daughter is at a point in her life where she needs her father and i want her father there but he is still so very unstable. He claims he has his own apt., a car, and he works---Kudos to you!!! i say but you are doing all that and never thought to send her a dime. Why now, is the question i have asked, and his reply " i miss y'all---I'm still in love with you, and i want us to be together"

is this man tripping, how am i to feel about him after 5 years, although, i never stopped loving him! Is he here for me, my daughter, or us as a whole? He says us as a whole. I have told him over and over again that he does not have to "woo" me to be involved in his daughters life. I just request that when i allow you back in you stay. I say this because my daughter has not had a "i want my daddy issue" quite frankly she had no interest in him, and was very content. I do not want this man coming into her life and causing Kaos---right now she is a very stable 6 year.

again he reassures me that he is here forever.......we shall see.

Now, when he left i missed the heck out of him and after years went by i blocked all other feelings out, i denied loving him, made up excuses as to why i was with him and that was to hide my hurt and pain. i had missed my ex-fiancee----

Now he is back and it gets deeper. I have some feelings for him but i first want him and his daughter to reconnect before him and i do anything. i want to make sure that the relationship between the two of them is stable and mommy has nothing to do with her dad coming back.

My feelings are all rushing back quickly and confusingly....i am currently seeing someone, it is nothing serious but we do like each other----Hip-Hop (my first blog entry). hip hop is cool but he has his issues and sometimes i just don't want to deal w/them and truthfully, normally i don't. Hip hop knows about, let's call him "hitman", and hitman knows about hip hip and neither of them like it because...............they use to be sparring buddies!!! I knew nothing of the sort until now.......!!!

Hip hop and hitman are kind of a like----they both are tough well built men...i love big men!!! hitman has more muscle tone to him but overall i am physically attracted to the both of them. The question is what do i do, i have no commitment to either of them but i don't want to lose them at the same time....i am not trying to play both men, i think of it as keeping my options open. Hitman currently resides in Columbus, Ohio and has since married---he has been separated from his wife for 2 years now, however that is just is side of the story!!!! hip-hop and his "wifey" separated prior to me and he does miss her but at the same time he claims he likes me too....

Knowing all this i will not set myself up for any type of heartache or my daughter so what do i do.....Hitman is coming down this weekend to visit us and hip-hop is not aware of this. i don't know how to tell him this as he does spend most of the weekends at my house!!!!

i just want to know if we ( hitman and I) still have fire and if so, then i would definitely try to make a go at it with him once again, as we have a child together. I won't jump into anything serious until we know this is it....i told him he will have to come correct and so far he has!!!!!!!

what about hip-hop?

Blog members please help me, i am totally confused!!!!!!!